Pictures from site annoncement!

Anxiously waiting

Reading my proverb and site!

Pointing to my new home

A Botswana Wedding (or two...)

 

 



It has become apparent pretty quickly that we have entered wedding season here in Botswana. And they do things a little differently than in the States. First of all, there are two weddings for each couple—one in the kgotla (ward) from which the groom is from, and a whole nother ceremony in the kgotla where the bride is from. Sometimes the bride and groom are from entirely different parts of the country, so they will have two ceremonies on two different weekends in different villages. Secondly, anyone can come to a wedding, no invitation necessary. Maybe the bride is a relative of yours. Maybe you hear about it from a friend of a friend. Maybe you just live in the area, hear music playing and want to grab some free food. Apparently everyone is invited. The immediate family sits under a big tent, while everyone else sits around the yard wherever to eat. It’s very much organized chaos.

I’ve been to two weddings now, and at each one the menu seems to be pretty standard. All of the food is cooked in huge cast iron pots over open fires. There are usually lots of women relatives who are behind the scenes mixing huge buckets of food. Even with so many guests, there always manage to be leftovers! Here’s what’s generally served:

-          bogobe jwa legapu (sorghum porridge made with sour milk and with melon added into it)

-          rice (different varieties)

-          Samp (made from kernels of corn that have had the outer shell removed…this is one of my favorite things to eat here)

-          Seswa (basically pulverized meat from all parts of the animal that are combined)

-          Legata (a mixture of beans, samp, and, if you’re lucky, some peanuts thrown in)

-          beet root (seems to be sort of pickled a lot of the time)

-          Setswana-style coleslaw (Batswana love cabbage and what they call “tangy mayonnaise”)

-          Lephutshe (butternut squash cooked and mashed)

-          potato salad (more tangy mayonnaise…and peas too?)

-          Chicken

-          and a couple other variations of meat

 

I learned that at the last wedding I went to, there were five cows that had been slaughtered for the event. So you can imagine that having enough food to feed the entire village is a ton of food. Interestingly, some portions of the cow go to certain family members. For example, the bride’s uncle (called the “malome”—the mother’s brother) negotiates a lot of things for the wedding, and he gets a whole shoulder/leg I believe. One aspect of the whole marriage he arranges is the lebola, or essentially the dowry. The higher status the bride has, the more cows the groom’s family must pay for him to marry her. Even with more modern families in Botswana, this is still something that seems to be widely practiced. In Setswana, it is very apparent how important family is just based on the huge variety of words used to describe family members, other than malome, there are specific words for older siblings, younger siblings, siblings of the opposite sex, cousins, and on and on. (there also a million words for the color brown, while the colors blue and green are called the same thing….can you tell it’s a drought-ridden country?

The entertainment is great, too. There are always a group of traditional dancers that are brought in to entertain the guests. They wear animal skins and have some sort of seeds tied around their ankles that rattle and make noise when they step. It’s really fun to watch—definitely one of my favorite parts. The bridal party also does a choreographed dance before the food is served. Apparently it’s a big deal, as the bridal party meets every weekend for months leading up to the event to practice for a few hours. It’s definitely impressive!

 

After the entertainment and everyone has eaten, all of the married women sit with the bride, while all of the married men sit with the groom. I don’t know what exactly is said in the groom’s circle, but I was able to watch the bride’s. A friend and I were sitting outside of the circle, and a few basadi bogolo (old women) motioned for us to come and sit inside it with them. As you can see below, all of the women had their head and shoulders covered, which we did not. A woman ran over making a high pitched shrill noise and put shawls around both of us. Our heads were still uncovered, but that seemed to be okay. The photographer, a friend of the bride’s, wasn’t even allowed in because she was wearing pants…apparently a big no-no. One at a time, different women got up and stood in front of the bride—there was singing, shouting, kneeling, dancing, all sorts of weird things going on. We learned later that they were giving her advice on how to stay grounded and not try to change her husband, etc. Basically advice to her on marriage. They also gave her a shawl and a head scarf to tie around her head, thus signifying that she is now a married woman. There were some very old women there who could hardly stand up, and they were getting down on their knees to offer her advice. It was really neat to witness and I’m so thankful that they let us sit with them and be included. The women then are all served a jello/custard dessert (wedding cake doesn’t seem to be a thing here), while the men get to feast on what is considered the best part of the cow—the back and the stomach. Only men are allowed to eat this meat. I also learned that it is supposed to signify the joining of two families coming from different places (back/stomach) but combining to make something special (yummy?).

The basadi bogolo giving advice to the bride.