Finding Love in Botswana

We closed the camp with an activity where I gave each of the four teams yarn the color of their team. Each person wrapped the yarn around their wrist a few times, said a goal they have for themselves out loud, and then passed the yarn to another person on their team. At the end, everyone was connected through a web. They cut the yarn and tied it around their wrist to serve as a reminder of camp and the goals they set for themselves. 

I have recently finished running a four-day camp for about 65 kids ranging from ages 12 to 20 living with HIV in my district. All of these children were infected with HIV by their mothers or in some rare instances, an HIV positive female who breastfed them. Botswana has come a long way in preventing mother to child transmission (PMTCT), and today the transmission rate is now around 2%. However, there was a long period of time where this wasn’t the case. Unfortunately, these 65 kids are really only a fraction of the kids living with HIV in my area, let alone in Botswana as a whole.

Camp was held at Tsodilo Hills, a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

It was something of an emotional rollercoaster for those few days, as there were many, many challenges in working with the host country nationals. Everything from facilitators disappearing from sessions they were supposed to help lead, to the supplies officer ignoring the menu we provided and instead buying random quantities of other foods. But I won’t bore you with them here, I promise. Things were mildly chaotic and incredibly frustrating at times. But I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

I realized during the camp that this was perhaps the first time that these children could be so completely open and free about their status. They didn’t have to harbor any fear of rejection or stigma, because they were among peers experiencing the same thing. In the morning and evening every half hour we would announce the time and shout, “If you take your pills at this time, go and take them!” They would run off together in groups and take their meds. No hiding, no self-conscious glances, just companionship. I think this was one of the best gifts they received during those few days.

This is Mphande, the Health Education Assistant at the clinic.

At the camp, we did lots of activities and had several sessions with the kids to cover topics such as HIV/AIDS basics, Adherence, Sex and Sexuality, Love and Relationships, Self-Esteem, and Leadership/Communication Building. The days were long and the weather was excessively hot, but it was productive nonetheless. Some of the sessions were difficult to engage the kids in, as students here are often discouraged from speaking out and sharing their own unique opinions. But those sessions were countered with awkward laughing and conversing when I instructed them in condom demonstrations on a very strange-looking hand-carved wooden penis model. One boy ran up to me holding two hard-boiled eggs and said, “Look, these can be the testes!” I was both thoroughly amused and impressed with his comprehension of the male anatomy.

Other sessions were more serious. One afternoon was filled with intimate discussions of healthy disclosure and stigma among the kids. There were some tears shed and some truths spoken. A few of the girls, for example, don’t think they will ever be able to get married or have children because of their status. Several others told stories of classmates who disclosed their status to the whole of their school, leaving them stigmatized and feeling incredibly vulnerable. This exchange of stories and realities was an invaluable part of the whole camp. It’s not something that can necessarily be evaluated on a pre- or post-test or reported on my quarterly Peace Corps report…it’s not something that can really be measured at all. But then again, the most important things rarely are.

Personally, one of my favorite parts of the camp was getting to form stronger relationships with the kids who come to my Shakawe Teen Club meetings. I have such a deep love for these teens…so much so that it sort of took me off guard. I’m really good at compartmentalizing some of the stronger emotional aspects of being here. The loneliness, the frustration. Because if I let myself feel these things too deeply, I probably won’t last here. Maybe I’ve developed a thick skin, or maybe it’s something else. But these kids have managed to burrow into the deep recesses of my emotional caves. The bonds I’m forming with them provide me with so much comfort, and I can’t exactly explain why. Maybe that’s just what love does. Maybe it’s just that I haven’t found that kind of love here until this past weekend. But to love in this way is the core of who I am. And somehow, through this thicket of constant cultural adjustment and personal vulnerability, I have found love in Botswana.