Disclaimer:
This post is heavy and a little bit graphic. But entirely real and something I feel is
important to share.
I
recently heard an account from a social worker in a village 20 minutes away
involving an 11-year-old girl. The girl was having trouble sitting properly in
class. She would sit sideways, and the teacher would yell at her to sit nicely
in her seat. But she didn’t seem to be capable of sitting properly. The teacher
talked with the girl after school and it soon became apparent that the girl was
being abused by her uncle.
The
student, who is in the equivalent of fifth grade, lost her mother last year to
HIV and her father has been either dead or missing for a number of years. She
is an orphan at the hands of HIV, like so many other children in Botswana. As
an only child with no grandparents or other aunts or uncles, her uncle is the
only family she has, and he is solely responsible for her care. He has been
raping her repeatedly for an undetermined period of time.
Upon
confronting him, the uncle became aggressive and warned the social worker to
“stay out of his family’s business.” The uncle’s wife (or rather long term
girlfriend, as many people in this area can’t afford to get married though they
call themselves husband and wife), was outraged when she learned from the
social worker what was happening. Apparently, she suspected something was going
on, because her husband would regularly get out of bed at night to “check to
make sure the gate is closed” or to “go to the toilet.” The few times that the
wife went out to check on him, she at least once found him coming out of the
young girl’s room.
This
past weekend, my friend and another colleague traveled on the bus with the
girl over ten hours to a town halfway across the country to a home for orphans
where the girl will stay for at least six months. They also completed a rape
kit at the hospital there with the hope of prosecuting the uncle. It amazes me
that someone would have to travel so far to access those services, while rape
is not an uncommon occurrence here. They bypassed two other hospitals on their
way which either don’t have the proper equipment or trained professionals to do
the rape kit. In the meantime, my friend also expressed concern that the uncle
could kill his wife for speaking out against him in front of the social worker.
These types of “passion killings” are a huge problem in Botswana and very much
a reality.
After
telling me this information, my friend confessed that this young girl’s issue
weighs especially heavy on her because she has been through almost the same
situation. When she was also an orphan and in fourth grade, a man was raping
her as well. She had to get two stitches from the damage he inflicted on her.
The man who raped her was luckily put in jail for fifteen years. When he had
about five years remaining, he managed to escape from the facility that was
holding him. The police managed to find him, put him back in jail, and extended
his sentence. This news was too much for the perpetrator, and he ended up
killing himself in prison, likely by hanging.
I
could tell you half a dozen other stories similar to this. Some involving men
raping toddlers on public buses without anyone knowing, some involving men
raping four-year-old girls and causing so much damage that the child had to
have a catheter and urine-collection bag connected to them. The common nature
of these stories is disturbing and also far too real in this country which
boasts peace and low levels of crime and corruption. Maybe the true issue lies
with under reporting of these instances.
